When preparing for a new baby most people either focus on their birth plan or their postpartum plan. Rarely do our Portland postpartum doulas see families thoroughly planning for both. This usually stems from having more concerns or worries around one than the other. But planning for both is important and will make the transition into parenting easier. Of course, planning for both means extra time, extra effort, and we all know there isn’t much time for either of those things. So, here’s how to repurpose your birth plan to use as a postpartum plan.
Most birth plans include some elements of:
- Who is in my support circle? And, what do I want from them?
- What is my plan for coping?
- What do I need to have on hand? (i.e. “what’s in my birth bag?”)
- What if?
So let’s break this down step by step to give you the template and things to think about when planning for both the birth of your baby and caring for your baby (and yourself)postpartum.
The Support Circle
It’s important to identify who your support people and their roles during that time period. This is partly for keeping an inventory of who is available and how they can help, and also partly to make sure everyone knows what is expected of them; it’s important for clear communication around everyone’s roles.
When considering the “who” in your support circle, make sure to also consider the “who not.” All too often we see people reluctantly including a family member at the birth even when the family member increases stress for everyone involved. If there is someone like this in your life, do your best to limit their involvement, or shift their participation to something that will cause the least amount of stress for you.
The Birth Team: Make a list of who will be with you- midwife, doctor, partners, friends, families, and doulas. How will you work together? What need are they filling for you? When will you call upon them/put them to use?
Postpartum Team:
We’ve talked before about making a list of the people that are willing and wanting to offer help. Start with the inventory of who these people are and divide them into the volunteers and visitor categories. Take the volunteers and note how they will be helpful (focus on what they naturally enjoy and excel at).
Remember to keep lists of and contact information for extra helpers like lactation consultants, postpartum doulas, massage therapists, pediatricians, house cleaners, etc. It’s easier to get their help when you already know who you’re going to call and how to quickly reach them.
Let your team know who is helping where and how you would love to enlist their help. This keeps communication open and adds some clarity for those hoping to support you.
For both teams make sure you communicate the rest of the plan to them.
Coping, handling challenges
Most birth plans have information like “ I’d like to move around freely. I do/not want an epidural, nitrous, or other pain medications, etc.” This is the surface information to convey to the birth team. What’s underneath this is really how you cope and what you need to release stress and stay relaxed. This last part is what can also inform your postpartum support team.
Birth Considerations:
- How do you and your partners usually handle stress?
- What happens when you’re sleep-deprived?
- When you haven’t eaten?
- What happens to your body when you feel stressed? TIP: If you’re not sure, start noticing now!
- What helps you and them cope and relax?
- Do you need time to yourself?
- Is it helpful if someone talks through the issue with you?
- Does touch help you?
- What does each of you need from each other and your team to help keep stress low, oxytocin (the feel-good hormone) high? Let each team member know about these specifics- let them know how to communicate with you most easily.
- Statements like “Please ask prior to. . .” can be extremely helpful.
- If you’re not sure, exercises like learning your “love language” can be very helpful.
- What happens between you and specific people that will be supporting you when stress is involved?
- How do you think that will play out in a birth scenario?
Postpartum Considerations:
- Use the answers above about handling and coping with stress.
- Make sure your closest support person is aware of triggers for stress, how they show up for you, and what you need to help relax- because a lack of eating and sleeping plays a huge role in the postpartum periods.
- Put a plan into place on how you’ll get things like snacks and sleep
- Who can make sure you have snacks by the bedside? Who can make sure you’re getting meals everyday?
- Will you have a doula to help you and the rest of your support circle get some great rest?
- Put a plan into place on how you’ll get things like snacks and sleep
Things to Have on Hand
Stuff. You’re supposed to have some on hand for the birth, and you get a ton of it for the baby. But what are the essentials?
The Birth: this list is primarily for those planning on birth at a hospital. If you’re planning to birth at home or at a birth center many of the items apply, but you’ll want to ask your midwife for specifics.
- Hair ties- trust us
- Toiletries to freshen up: showers aren’t always available or easy to take
- Snacks, easy to eat little prep or clean up and can be eaten with one hand
- Comfy clothes Note: they are gonna get messy and have stains so make sure they aren’t your favorites
- Practicals like phone chargers with long cords
Postpartum: You will want all of these available to you along with some others:
- Footstool
- Remotes in hand
- Multiples of all of the above so you can have “stations” around the house
- Diaper stations too
Planning for the unexpected
We all go into birth and parenting with our ideals. Then life happens and babies make it known they have different plans. While we want to put most of our energy into what we want to happen, it’s also important to make contingency plans in case something changes.
For both birth and postpartum, list your ideals and why they are important to you. Then, list a few challenges that may come up and what might be helpful for you to feel supported. Also, consider how you may feel at the moment- sad? Guilty? overwhelmed?
This may be hard to visualize now, but give it your best shot. Here are some examples:
- I am hoping to birth without medication because I want to be as mobile as possible.
- Reasons I would choose an epidural are (long birth, not what I expected etc)
- It would be helpful if my team explained to me the pros and cons at the moment, answered my questions, remind me of positions that I can do and help me into them
- Please ask my feelings and validate them, do not assume.
- I am hoping to have an epidural as soon as possible because I know I won’t cope well with contractions
- Reasons I may not get an epidural: labor feels easier to me than I thought (it happens!), birth happens so quickly there isn’t time.
- Please help me with my coping strategies we identified above
- Please ask my feelings and validate them, do not assume.
- I am planning on breastfeeding, it’s important to me to try for x reasons
- Reasons I may not breastfeed: Unforeseen challenges I am struggling to overcome, this isn’t what I expected, medical reasons
- Help me find resources for help if I want them. See areas that you can make my challenge easier and do so proactively. Sit with me.
- Please ask my feelings and validate them, do not assume.
Note that for each of the examples “this is not what I expected” is a reason for changing your mind. This is 100% valid, and often surprising to many people. Having the birth or postpartum period being different than imagined can feel confusing and overwhelming for some people, while it feels freeing and welcomed by others.
Notice the theme of support people asking where you’re at the moment- as you may be feeling something different than what they assume. It’s important your support circle validates these feelings and supports you without judgment at the moment.
If you work through these main categories you’ll feel well supported for both birth and postpartum. Of course, there will be differences for each time period, but this should help you get an overall plan to remove a lot of stress.
updated September 2020
Leave a Reply